The Platinum Rule is the New Gold Standard

Dapper Dossier No. 4

The golden rule is something we’re all taught in school at an early age. Treat others as you would want to be treated. It’s a great way to get young children to consider the feelings of others.

But it’s really a self-centered way of viewing the world, perfect for a child who doesn’t understand very much about interpersonal skills. I like to be treated nicely, so I should do the same to others. I like to have people share with me, so I should do the same with others.  These basics are all well and good for children who have not yet developed a strong ability to empathize with others.

As we get older, though, we have to start thinking from others’ perspective if we are going to really connect with them. I like to follow the platinum rule: Treat others as they want to be treated. This is an incredibly big difference, so please do yourself a favor and re-read it. Treat others as they want to be treated. Below find three easy ways to put this into practice today!

No. 1. Leave Your Problems at Home

When we remove our baggage from the equation and leave our resentments, fears and concerns about a situation on the sidelines, stepping into someone else’s shoes becomes so much easier. We may not be able to understand where they are coming from completely, but without our stuff cluttering the picture, putting their perspective front and center is far less complicated.

No. 2. Connect Your Head with Your Heart

It is easy for us to examine a situation from either an intellectual or an emotional standpoint. The former allows us to remain steadfastly in a fact-based reality while the latter takes our specific experience and layers it onto another’s to enable emotion. By recognizing that it actually takes both the intellectual and emotional pieces in combination to create true empathy, you can place yourself in another’s situation and react accordingly.

No. 3. Practice Active Listening

What is active listening? Wait for it… It’s just listening. Instead of thinking of the next thing you are going to say, or ask, or do, it’s pausing. Counting to 5. Then responding. What do you do then? With the information that you have been given and actually processed, instead of glossed over, you can take action based on where a person actually is. What their fears are, their hopes are, and their dreams are and place yourself squarely in a position to assist them to take the next step.

When people start coming from a place of, what does this person want or need? What can I do for them to make them happy? How can I present this in a way that makes sense to them? That is when you’ll really start to connect with them in a meaningful way. We all want to be heard and understood. Show that to people in your world, and you’ll begin to make inroads to build trust and respect that are the foundation of every successful relationship.


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Julian LeaverComment