Platinum Rule v. Golden Rule
The golden rule is something we’re all taught in school at an early age. Treat others as you would want to be treated. It's a great way to get young children to consider the feelings of others.
But it’s really a self-centered way of viewing the world, perfect for a child who doesn't understand very much about interpersonal skills. I like to be treated nicely, so I should do the same to others. I like to have people share with me, so I should do the same with others. These basics are all well and good for children who have not yet developed a strong ability to empathize with others.
As we get older, though, we have to start thinking from others’ perspective if we are going to really connect with them. I like to follow the platinum rule: Treat others as they want to be treated. This is an incredibly big difference, so please do yourself a favor and re-read it. Treat others as they want to be treated.
When people start coming from a place of, What does this person want? What can I do for them to make them happy? How can I present this in a way that makes sense to them?...That is when you’ll really start to connect with them in a meaningful way. We all want to be heard and understood. Show that to people in your world, and you'll begin to make inroads to build trust and respect that are the foundation of every successful relationship.